When I see the word "wrecked," it brings a lot of things to mind. With Mom's accident recently, it's come to describe what happened to her in a moment of vulnerability. Sometimes it also means having a little too much to drink and having things get out of hand. My friend, Andrew Fortune, liked to use the term to describe what happened when he would strongly sense God's presence at a certain time. It just so happened that I had the experienced of getting "wrecked" a few weeks ago during the Vineyard Leadership Conference in Galveston. I cried like a baby throughout the conference and left there wondering "what now?"
Then a few weeks ago, I read this blog by Crispin Schroeder. Crispin is a musician on staff at the Vineyard Church in Kenner, Louisiana. He recently made it known that he and his family would be planting a church in the Covington/Mandeville area in the same state.
I have to admit that I get a little envious of church planters nowadays when they make this sort of announcement. The experts say it's easier to manage planting a church when a couple's children are small or grown. Teen and pre-teen children seem to have more difficulty with the process of relocating and acclimating to the new way of life. But, when our children were small, we couldn't seem get our act together long enough to get the blessing to proceed. As our family has grown, it's often seemed like little more than a pipe dream. "Life comes at you fast," the commercial says, and we've just found ourselves and our children getting older. The dream of planting a church is still there, but it's like something placed on a shelf, gathering dust.
Reading Crispin's blog coincided with the "wrecked" experience for me. Though he didn't use the word "wrecked," I got exactly what he meant. The world needs to see people who've been wrecked by the love of God.
It may not mean much at all and may never come to anything, but last night something happened to me in a Wal Mart parking lot. In the middle of making plans to move my parents away from the first place I ever called "home," the place called back - or maybe it was God calling back. I really don't know which. Originally, when I thought of planting a church, I felt that the church to be planted would be in a wild and raucous place: Gun Barrel City, Texas. To drive through the area, it would seem the last thing the city needs is another church. But, I'm sure they could use one that Crispin describes - made up of people who have been "wrecked" by the love of God for people who need him most.
So, while driving down the main drag, I felt the heart of God for a part of the world that is as dear to me as my own life. They need to meet people who've been wrecked by God's love. My prayer was, and will be, "God, send someone, who's been wrecked by your love, to this place. And, if no one else will go, then send me." Some day. One day. Whenever.
Yeah, I'm wrecked, but it's OK.
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Monday, June 01, 2009
We All Knew This Day Would Come
It seems like such a cliché' to write about how life changes, how people grow up and get older and then how everyone copes with it. After all, life happens to everybody and we all have to deal with it the one thing that binds us all together: change. As much as we fight it, struggle with how it makes us feel or what we must do to come to grips with it, everything will change. Musicians have made a living for themselves giving music and lyrics to all those feelings change stirs up within us. Writers and artists have applied their talents to provide words and pictures for the feelings that seem too deep for words. In spite of all our best efforts, we're never quite prepared for moment when change comes.
Some of our friends and family know that we've been talking with Mom & Dad about moving closer to me and my family or to my sister, Vicki, and her family in Victoria, Texas. We've had various plans in the past that never materialized. Recently, my wife and I raised the topic with them and we were moving forward with a plan to have them move closer to us in the fuzzy near-future. Of course, now with the events that unfolded over the weekend with my mother's wreck, we're looking at putting another gear on our plans. We've talked before about them moving and have discussed it a few times again this weekend. It will be really nice to have them nearby and check in on them regularly and have them more involved in our family. It's a great thing and I look forward to it. I hope they look forward to it with the same pleasant anticipation we have.
However, as the song says "each new beginning is another beginning's end," how does one go about leaving a place that has been "home" for such a long time? I often think about my parents' home as being such a significant place for me. However, it wasn't until my cousin, Brenda, mentioned it on Facebook a few days ago that I realized I'm not the only one who feels this way. It's the not the place that is so special. It's always been a small, wood-frame, two bedroom house on a simple 3/4's acre lot on one of the quietest streets in Malakoff, Texas. But, what made it so special is that it's the container that holds everyone's memories. 505 East Pine Avenue in Malakoff, Texas has held a lot of memories for a whole lot of people for a long time.
I came into this world after my brother and sister, along with most of their cousins, were all but grown. In those days, 505 E. Pine Avenue was known as 514 Pine and my grandparents lived in a small travel trailer parked right next to the house. I remember as a small child seeing all sorts of people coming to visit my grandparents. Aunts, uncles, cousins, in-laws, outlaws - you name it - someone was always coming over to see my Pop and Grandmamma. I've heard my sister and different cousins talk about how my parents along with my aunts and uncles would go into the little 12 x 12 kitchen in my parents' house and close the door so they could visit, while the cousins would try to sleep on their pallets in the living room. Every now and then the kids would get too loud and one of the parents would open the door and tell the kids to be quiet and go to sleep, all the while laughing and telling stories late into the night.
I don't remember much anymore from the days when my grandparents lived next door to us. There are lots of stories and pictures from when I was set in the bed with my Pop to watch "rasslin" with him. But, there are two things I remember without pictures and they are as vivid as color television.
The first was when I was about 4 years old. I came bounding out of their trailer and right in my path was a brown, checkered snake curled up in the grass. I don't know how I was able to skip over it, but I did, and ran directly in the house. By the time I had gone inside and come back out with my mother, the snake was nowhere to be seen. From that day forward, I never bounded outside of the trailer. I looked before I would leap until their trailer was finally moved away.
The second event I remember at Grandmamma’s house had to do with my cousin, Randy Perkins. Randy was known as being “mentally retarded” in a time when political correctness hadn’t yet come into play. I was terrified of Randy not just because he was bigger than me and looked funny, but because he would take every opportunity to bully and physically hurt me. He once got a running start and knocked me off a tricycle in my parents’ driveway. When I saw Randy, all I wanted to do was RUN!
One day, I was over at Grandmamma’s enjoying tea and crackers when Randy and his mom, Georgina, pulled into the driveway. She knew I was scared of Randy, so she grabbed me and told me to go hide under a table and to be as quiet as I could. I scrambled under that table, slid the tablecloth down as far as I could and hardly breathed for half an hour. Georgina visited with Grandmamma while Randy messed with things in her house. I just knew he was looking for me. At one point, she told him to stop whatever he was doing – I guess it was because he was getting close to where I was. After what seemed like an eternity, I heard Georgina say “well, I guess we’d better go” and Grandmamma proceed to walk them out the door. Once they had pulled out of the driveway and gone down the street, she raised the tablecloth and told me that I could get out from under the table. (Now that I think about it, I honestly don’t remember if Grandmamma left my glass of tea and crackers on the table or if she put them away. If she didn’t, that may have been the reason why Randy was going through her house the way he did. ) I’ll always be grateful to her for protecting me that day.
Another thing about my parents’ house here in Malakoff is the history of pets we had here. The first pet I remember was a black, over-sized Chihuahua called Sissy, I think. I don’t remember what happened to her, but she was far from being the last pet at our house. We had several stray cats and dogs, as well as a few that we picked out from a litter of pups or kittens. At one point, we had the meanest horse in the entire world in our back yard, a Shetland pony named Poncho. He must have bitten everyone in the family. It was a great day when my brother-in-law sold him.
Because we had so many pets when I was a kid, there are also countless animal carcasses buried on my parents’ property, too: dogs, cats and one hamster all are out there, somewhere. There’s also a few pets buried at various places on the property of my parents’ church, Malakoff First Assembly of God. There’s even one pet buried in the median of Hwy 31.
Penny, the wonder-horse, known for breaking into local feed stores and chicken coops, opening gates and jumping cattle guards, broke out one last time and met his match. One Sunday morning, the local FFA teacher called my dad and told him that a horse that looked like Penny was lying dead on the road outside of Malakoff. Dad verified that it was Penny and consulted with a local attorney about what to do next. His advice to Dad was to not claim the horse. In spite of friends saying “Joel, I think your horse is dead on the east side of town,” (and several of them did) we didn’t say anything. To our knowledge no one was injured in the accident. But, poor ol’ Penny had to be tended to. That same day, the Henderson County Highway Department buried Penny in the median of Hwy 31 where it divides on the east side of town. I always wanted to put some sort of marker out there. But, I couldn’t do it without raising suspicion. So, when I head out east toward Athens, I always take a quick look to the north side of the road to pay my respects to the most amazing horse that ever lived.
One of the drawbacks of growing up in a small town is that people know things about each other. It’s not so bad if a person lives right. If they get in trouble, the whole world will know about it. If people have been the same place for a long time, there is a larger body of information to pull from. In my case, I was the third child attending the same schools my brother and sister attended, so everyone saw me coming. Fortunately, only a handful of teachers were still around who remembered my siblings by the time I was in their class. But, I had one teacher, Mrs. Helen Brewer, in high school, who took every opportunity to tell me that should be more like my brother or sister. “You’re too lazy!” I never got a break.
Then there are all the people who went to school with my brother and sister who had kids of their own who were my age. I remember being in art class looking at an old football program one time. One of the girls in the class said “Hey, look it’s my mom!” One of the guys said “That’s my mom!” I said “That’s my sister!” The table went quiet then everyone said “Nuh-uh!” It took some convincing to get them to believe me. Then, the same guy who identified his mom in the same picture said “hey, your sister is pretty!” I told him “And she’s the same age as your mom!” I couldn’t make this stuff up!
Literally, there’s a story at every turn in this little ol’ town. For me, this place was my entire world for the first 19 years of my life. It’s been the lone constant in the time since. I always knew I could go back home any time I needed to. As we get ready for this new phase of life, when Mom & Dad will come to live with me and my family, there are more mixed feelings than I ever expected. I will miss this place more profoundly than I can imagine right now. It’s not just a chapter that’s closing, either. It’s like finishing a major series of books and packing them away in a trunk to be shipped away.
Having said that, I must say that there is such an advantage to what we’re doing. I look forward to seeing my parents more regularly and to be involved with each others’ lives again. I think we’re thoroughly going to enjoy each other’s company. But, make no mistake…I’m really going to miss this place. I knew this day would come, but now that it’s here, I had no idea what I was in for until now.
Some of our friends and family know that we've been talking with Mom & Dad about moving closer to me and my family or to my sister, Vicki, and her family in Victoria, Texas. We've had various plans in the past that never materialized. Recently, my wife and I raised the topic with them and we were moving forward with a plan to have them move closer to us in the fuzzy near-future. Of course, now with the events that unfolded over the weekend with my mother's wreck, we're looking at putting another gear on our plans. We've talked before about them moving and have discussed it a few times again this weekend. It will be really nice to have them nearby and check in on them regularly and have them more involved in our family. It's a great thing and I look forward to it. I hope they look forward to it with the same pleasant anticipation we have.
However, as the song says "each new beginning is another beginning's end," how does one go about leaving a place that has been "home" for such a long time? I often think about my parents' home as being such a significant place for me. However, it wasn't until my cousin, Brenda, mentioned it on Facebook a few days ago that I realized I'm not the only one who feels this way. It's the not the place that is so special. It's always been a small, wood-frame, two bedroom house on a simple 3/4's acre lot on one of the quietest streets in Malakoff, Texas. But, what made it so special is that it's the container that holds everyone's memories. 505 East Pine Avenue in Malakoff, Texas has held a lot of memories for a whole lot of people for a long time.
I came into this world after my brother and sister, along with most of their cousins, were all but grown. In those days, 505 E. Pine Avenue was known as 514 Pine and my grandparents lived in a small travel trailer parked right next to the house. I remember as a small child seeing all sorts of people coming to visit my grandparents. Aunts, uncles, cousins, in-laws, outlaws - you name it - someone was always coming over to see my Pop and Grandmamma. I've heard my sister and different cousins talk about how my parents along with my aunts and uncles would go into the little 12 x 12 kitchen in my parents' house and close the door so they could visit, while the cousins would try to sleep on their pallets in the living room. Every now and then the kids would get too loud and one of the parents would open the door and tell the kids to be quiet and go to sleep, all the while laughing and telling stories late into the night.
I don't remember much anymore from the days when my grandparents lived next door to us. There are lots of stories and pictures from when I was set in the bed with my Pop to watch "rasslin" with him. But, there are two things I remember without pictures and they are as vivid as color television.
The first was when I was about 4 years old. I came bounding out of their trailer and right in my path was a brown, checkered snake curled up in the grass. I don't know how I was able to skip over it, but I did, and ran directly in the house. By the time I had gone inside and come back out with my mother, the snake was nowhere to be seen. From that day forward, I never bounded outside of the trailer. I looked before I would leap until their trailer was finally moved away.
The second event I remember at Grandmamma’s house had to do with my cousin, Randy Perkins. Randy was known as being “mentally retarded” in a time when political correctness hadn’t yet come into play. I was terrified of Randy not just because he was bigger than me and looked funny, but because he would take every opportunity to bully and physically hurt me. He once got a running start and knocked me off a tricycle in my parents’ driveway. When I saw Randy, all I wanted to do was RUN!
One day, I was over at Grandmamma’s enjoying tea and crackers when Randy and his mom, Georgina, pulled into the driveway. She knew I was scared of Randy, so she grabbed me and told me to go hide under a table and to be as quiet as I could. I scrambled under that table, slid the tablecloth down as far as I could and hardly breathed for half an hour. Georgina visited with Grandmamma while Randy messed with things in her house. I just knew he was looking for me. At one point, she told him to stop whatever he was doing – I guess it was because he was getting close to where I was. After what seemed like an eternity, I heard Georgina say “well, I guess we’d better go” and Grandmamma proceed to walk them out the door. Once they had pulled out of the driveway and gone down the street, she raised the tablecloth and told me that I could get out from under the table. (Now that I think about it, I honestly don’t remember if Grandmamma left my glass of tea and crackers on the table or if she put them away. If she didn’t, that may have been the reason why Randy was going through her house the way he did. ) I’ll always be grateful to her for protecting me that day.
Another thing about my parents’ house here in Malakoff is the history of pets we had here. The first pet I remember was a black, over-sized Chihuahua called Sissy, I think. I don’t remember what happened to her, but she was far from being the last pet at our house. We had several stray cats and dogs, as well as a few that we picked out from a litter of pups or kittens. At one point, we had the meanest horse in the entire world in our back yard, a Shetland pony named Poncho. He must have bitten everyone in the family. It was a great day when my brother-in-law sold him.
Because we had so many pets when I was a kid, there are also countless animal carcasses buried on my parents’ property, too: dogs, cats and one hamster all are out there, somewhere. There’s also a few pets buried at various places on the property of my parents’ church, Malakoff First Assembly of God. There’s even one pet buried in the median of Hwy 31.
Penny, the wonder-horse, known for breaking into local feed stores and chicken coops, opening gates and jumping cattle guards, broke out one last time and met his match. One Sunday morning, the local FFA teacher called my dad and told him that a horse that looked like Penny was lying dead on the road outside of Malakoff. Dad verified that it was Penny and consulted with a local attorney about what to do next. His advice to Dad was to not claim the horse. In spite of friends saying “Joel, I think your horse is dead on the east side of town,” (and several of them did) we didn’t say anything. To our knowledge no one was injured in the accident. But, poor ol’ Penny had to be tended to. That same day, the Henderson County Highway Department buried Penny in the median of Hwy 31 where it divides on the east side of town. I always wanted to put some sort of marker out there. But, I couldn’t do it without raising suspicion. So, when I head out east toward Athens, I always take a quick look to the north side of the road to pay my respects to the most amazing horse that ever lived.
One of the drawbacks of growing up in a small town is that people know things about each other. It’s not so bad if a person lives right. If they get in trouble, the whole world will know about it. If people have been the same place for a long time, there is a larger body of information to pull from. In my case, I was the third child attending the same schools my brother and sister attended, so everyone saw me coming. Fortunately, only a handful of teachers were still around who remembered my siblings by the time I was in their class. But, I had one teacher, Mrs. Helen Brewer, in high school, who took every opportunity to tell me that should be more like my brother or sister. “You’re too lazy!” I never got a break.
Then there are all the people who went to school with my brother and sister who had kids of their own who were my age. I remember being in art class looking at an old football program one time. One of the girls in the class said “Hey, look it’s my mom!” One of the guys said “That’s my mom!” I said “That’s my sister!” The table went quiet then everyone said “Nuh-uh!” It took some convincing to get them to believe me. Then, the same guy who identified his mom in the same picture said “hey, your sister is pretty!” I told him “And she’s the same age as your mom!” I couldn’t make this stuff up!
Literally, there’s a story at every turn in this little ol’ town. For me, this place was my entire world for the first 19 years of my life. It’s been the lone constant in the time since. I always knew I could go back home any time I needed to. As we get ready for this new phase of life, when Mom & Dad will come to live with me and my family, there are more mixed feelings than I ever expected. I will miss this place more profoundly than I can imagine right now. It’s not just a chapter that’s closing, either. It’s like finishing a major series of books and packing them away in a trunk to be shipped away.
Having said that, I must say that there is such an advantage to what we’re doing. I look forward to seeing my parents more regularly and to be involved with each others’ lives again. I think we’re thoroughly going to enjoy each other’s company. But, make no mistake…I’m really going to miss this place. I knew this day would come, but now that it’s here, I had no idea what I was in for until now.
Saturday, May 30, 2009
An Unexpected Change of Plans
Many of our friends know that we've been talking to my parents about moving nearer to us. It's been something we've talked on and off with them for several years now. Recently, we've revisited the topic and I think that it may be time. However, yesterday things changed rather dramatically and we may be scrambling to catch up for a while.
Mom was in Athens yesterday (Athens is the next biggest town to Malakoff, which is, if anyone doesn't know, the center of the universe) and was going about her business and had a wreck. She was taken to the hospital here, but we don't know exactly what happened. We talked to my parents' insurance agent and she told us to get a police report and file a claim. Unfortunately, there's no way to get a police report in Athens over the weekend. So, I'm in Athens tonight, sitting in the East Texas Medical Center here, writing this blog, waiting for Monday to roll around so I can try to get my parents' affairs in order. I definitely didn't see myself being in this position yesterday. It's just a reminder of how quickly things can change.
Over the course of the day today, we've discovered more about Mom's condition. It turns out she has a heart condition that she knew about for a while. We knew a little about it, but it was a bit more serious than we had been made to believe. It was discovered while treating her cracked and bruised sternum, caused by either the seatbelt or the steering wheel during the wreck yesterday. Considering the circumstances - or at least what we've pieced together so far - we've been blessed that she is still here with us. It looks like there's a long road of recovery ahead of her. We likely will need to kick our plans, to have them move near to us, in high gear.
That's the nuts and bolts of what's going on here. However, I want to write about what's been going on around us throughout the day.
My parents' neighbor, Jeanette King, called me yesterday and told me what happened with Mom being involved in the wreck. After I got off the phone with her, I contacted my sister, Vicki and my wife, Danelle and told them what I had been told had happened. I didn't realize it, but the two of them started contacting family and friends by e-mail, phone and Facebook and by this morning there has been such an outpouring of love and concern that was nothing short of amazing.
So, as the day is winding down, I'm thankful for my family, friends and loved ones. Your prayers, love and concern mean more than you know. Look for updates on Mom's condition on Facebook in the coming days.
Mom was in Athens yesterday (Athens is the next biggest town to Malakoff, which is, if anyone doesn't know, the center of the universe) and was going about her business and had a wreck. She was taken to the hospital here, but we don't know exactly what happened. We talked to my parents' insurance agent and she told us to get a police report and file a claim. Unfortunately, there's no way to get a police report in Athens over the weekend. So, I'm in Athens tonight, sitting in the East Texas Medical Center here, writing this blog, waiting for Monday to roll around so I can try to get my parents' affairs in order. I definitely didn't see myself being in this position yesterday. It's just a reminder of how quickly things can change.
Over the course of the day today, we've discovered more about Mom's condition. It turns out she has a heart condition that she knew about for a while. We knew a little about it, but it was a bit more serious than we had been made to believe. It was discovered while treating her cracked and bruised sternum, caused by either the seatbelt or the steering wheel during the wreck yesterday. Considering the circumstances - or at least what we've pieced together so far - we've been blessed that she is still here with us. It looks like there's a long road of recovery ahead of her. We likely will need to kick our plans, to have them move near to us, in high gear.
That's the nuts and bolts of what's going on here. However, I want to write about what's been going on around us throughout the day.
My parents' neighbor, Jeanette King, called me yesterday and told me what happened with Mom being involved in the wreck. After I got off the phone with her, I contacted my sister, Vicki and my wife, Danelle and told them what I had been told had happened. I didn't realize it, but the two of them started contacting family and friends by e-mail, phone and Facebook and by this morning there has been such an outpouring of love and concern that was nothing short of amazing.
So, as the day is winding down, I'm thankful for my family, friends and loved ones. Your prayers, love and concern mean more than you know. Look for updates on Mom's condition on Facebook in the coming days.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Opinions Are Like...
One of my earliest memories of little league baseball came from one of my teammates' dad who was one of our coaches. It was one of those teaching moments that comes up during sports. Somebody was complaining about something, why this happened or that took place. Our coach turned to the player in the midst of his complaint and said "opinions are like assholes; everybody's got one and they all stink." Oops! Nobody dared say anything else.
I'm sure everyone has heard this at some point in their lives. The longer I live, the more I've come to agree with the statement. In fact, it seems I've come to develop opinions about other people's opinions along the way. As far as that goes, I'm sure other people have developed opinions about opinions about other opinions. Where does it end? Maybe I'm over-analyzing this, but is it appropriate to express an opinion at all? If it is, how does one go about expressing it?
First of all, I think before anybody opens their mouth about anything, they need to have respect for the people they are talking to. I've seen it too often (and unfortunately, I've operated like this) where a person thinks they're the only right person in the room. Those are the conversations where people come away frustrated, with hurt feelings. If a person honestly cares about people, they're going to be more careful than most about expressing their opinion. Period.
Secondly, it's important to be informed about whatever might be discussed. It is SO annoying to get involved in a discussion with someone who is BS'ing their way through it. It's just as annoying to talk to someone who is so immersed in their opinion that they can't relate or understand where the other person is coming from. If you don't know, shut up. You might learn something.
Lastly, and most importantly ( I think so, anyway), before ever saying anything, I think it is appropriate to ask ourselves "does what I have to say add to this discussion?" Chances are that it doesn't. If it doesn't, save it for another time when it might be appropriate. As I've learned, it's not a good thing to speak everything that comes to mind - no matter how good the intentions might be.
I think Christians have a lot to learn when it comes to interacting with each other and the rest of the world. We do have the right in this country to free speech and thank God for that. But, just because we can express ourselves freely as our personal right, it doesn't mean that we can say whatever we want to whenever we want to say it. If we consider ourselves to be at all "Spirit led" as we often claim, it would make sense then that the same Spirit could help us shut our mouths as well as open them.
I heard once, "God gave us two ears and one mouth and that should tell us something: he expects us to listen twice as much as we speak." If anything, that should make sense.
I'm sure everyone has heard this at some point in their lives. The longer I live, the more I've come to agree with the statement. In fact, it seems I've come to develop opinions about other people's opinions along the way. As far as that goes, I'm sure other people have developed opinions about opinions about other opinions. Where does it end? Maybe I'm over-analyzing this, but is it appropriate to express an opinion at all? If it is, how does one go about expressing it?
First of all, I think before anybody opens their mouth about anything, they need to have respect for the people they are talking to. I've seen it too often (and unfortunately, I've operated like this) where a person thinks they're the only right person in the room. Those are the conversations where people come away frustrated, with hurt feelings. If a person honestly cares about people, they're going to be more careful than most about expressing their opinion. Period.
Secondly, it's important to be informed about whatever might be discussed. It is SO annoying to get involved in a discussion with someone who is BS'ing their way through it. It's just as annoying to talk to someone who is so immersed in their opinion that they can't relate or understand where the other person is coming from. If you don't know, shut up. You might learn something.
Lastly, and most importantly ( I think so, anyway), before ever saying anything, I think it is appropriate to ask ourselves "does what I have to say add to this discussion?" Chances are that it doesn't. If it doesn't, save it for another time when it might be appropriate. As I've learned, it's not a good thing to speak everything that comes to mind - no matter how good the intentions might be.
I think Christians have a lot to learn when it comes to interacting with each other and the rest of the world. We do have the right in this country to free speech and thank God for that. But, just because we can express ourselves freely as our personal right, it doesn't mean that we can say whatever we want to whenever we want to say it. If we consider ourselves to be at all "Spirit led" as we often claim, it would make sense then that the same Spirit could help us shut our mouths as well as open them.
I heard once, "God gave us two ears and one mouth and that should tell us something: he expects us to listen twice as much as we speak." If anything, that should make sense.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
A Pretty Awesome Night
(I've been trying to get this posted for a week...)
I've been playing guitar and singing for about 22 years now (about 12 of those years were serious) most of which has been with some connection to the church. One of the main reasons I wanted to learn to play guitar and be able to sing with it was in order to lead worship at church. As many who knew me growing up probably know, the church music in those days wasn't conducive to guitars for accompaniment. I also played the drums, so it was easier to beat on things than actually play something that was unfamiliar.
Along the way, I discovered Vineyard Music, a music company that specialized in contemporary songs and arrangements for churches, written for a variety of instruments, particularly for the guitar. The discovery coincided with something called the Brownsville Revival in the mid-90's. An Assembly of God Church in Pensacola, Florida had nightly services for nearly 4 years, hosting visitors and pilgrims from around the globe and receiving national news coverage and even special reports at the same time. Lindell Cooley was in charge of the music and used Vineyard songs extensively. People from across the globe flocked to Pensacola to attend the revival meetings and came away singing the songs and took them back to their local congregations. One of those churches was Malakoff First Assembly of God, my home church.
I soon found out that there was more to the Vineyard catalog than just the songs that were played at Brownsville. At that time, a CD was released every quarter of the year with brand new songs on it. A separate songbook could be purchased that came complete with sheet music for piano, chord charts for guitar players and transparency masters for those who used a simple overhead projector to display song lyrics. (Later, these resources were saved on the CD, along with the audio tracks - a great resource) It probably seems so trivial now, but this was a big deal in 1997. I bought everything I could get my hands on and would learn to play it right away. Along the way, I started noticing the names of the people who wrote the songs. Brian Doerksen, David Ruis, Andy Park and John Barnett were just some of the prominent song writers at that time. Like I said before, I played as many of their songs as I could. Eventually, I ended up playing Andy's songs more than the rest. So, when I heard that Andy would be coming to our church in Conroe, I was going to be there. In fact, I sat on the front seat.
For about 90 minutes, Andy and his band played many of the songs I've played at one time or other in the same building. One of my friends said later "he played all your songs!" It was actually the other way around. Still, it was nice to meet Andy and sort of completed the evening for me. Of course, Andy is just an ordinary guy, and when I met him, it was no big deal. I told him I liked his songs and played a lot of them, to which he replied "good. I'm glad you do."
After the concert was done and we finally made it back home, I thumbed through the songbook and realized just how many of his songs I knew by heart or by sight. It's not that often we meet our role models. I'm glad he was the type that let me tell him how much I appreciate what he does.
I've been playing guitar and singing for about 22 years now (about 12 of those years were serious) most of which has been with some connection to the church. One of the main reasons I wanted to learn to play guitar and be able to sing with it was in order to lead worship at church. As many who knew me growing up probably know, the church music in those days wasn't conducive to guitars for accompaniment. I also played the drums, so it was easier to beat on things than actually play something that was unfamiliar.
Along the way, I discovered Vineyard Music, a music company that specialized in contemporary songs and arrangements for churches, written for a variety of instruments, particularly for the guitar. The discovery coincided with something called the Brownsville Revival in the mid-90's. An Assembly of God Church in Pensacola, Florida had nightly services for nearly 4 years, hosting visitors and pilgrims from around the globe and receiving national news coverage and even special reports at the same time. Lindell Cooley was in charge of the music and used Vineyard songs extensively. People from across the globe flocked to Pensacola to attend the revival meetings and came away singing the songs and took them back to their local congregations. One of those churches was Malakoff First Assembly of God, my home church.
I soon found out that there was more to the Vineyard catalog than just the songs that were played at Brownsville. At that time, a CD was released every quarter of the year with brand new songs on it. A separate songbook could be purchased that came complete with sheet music for piano, chord charts for guitar players and transparency masters for those who used a simple overhead projector to display song lyrics. (Later, these resources were saved on the CD, along with the audio tracks - a great resource) It probably seems so trivial now, but this was a big deal in 1997. I bought everything I could get my hands on and would learn to play it right away. Along the way, I started noticing the names of the people who wrote the songs. Brian Doerksen, David Ruis, Andy Park and John Barnett were just some of the prominent song writers at that time. Like I said before, I played as many of their songs as I could. Eventually, I ended up playing Andy's songs more than the rest. So, when I heard that Andy would be coming to our church in Conroe, I was going to be there. In fact, I sat on the front seat.
For about 90 minutes, Andy and his band played many of the songs I've played at one time or other in the same building. One of my friends said later "he played all your songs!" It was actually the other way around. Still, it was nice to meet Andy and sort of completed the evening for me. Of course, Andy is just an ordinary guy, and when I met him, it was no big deal. I told him I liked his songs and played a lot of them, to which he replied "good. I'm glad you do."
After the concert was done and we finally made it back home, I thumbed through the songbook and realized just how many of his songs I knew by heart or by sight. It's not that often we meet our role models. I'm glad he was the type that let me tell him how much I appreciate what he does.
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Wow! What A Party!
Today, I had the privilege of being the front man for the band from the Vineyard Church of Conroe today in the "Go Texan Day" Parade in Conroe. This was made possible because our fearless leader, Raymond McDonald, came down sick recently (BTW, we wish you a speedy recovery, Bro. It ain't the same without you!) .
It was sort of like getting to start a baseball game because the ace of the pitching staff went on the DL. After our entrance into the parade last year, the bar had been set pretty high with Raymond playing his Texas Blues and newly written songs. At the same time, it was an incredibly exciting opportunity. Afterall, how often does a band get to play to an entire city?
Just like last year, we warmed up playing on the float, doing our drive-by jam through the streets of Conroe, to get in position near the Montgomery County Library. To add a little bit of drama this year, a fiesty cold front rolled into town about an hour before start time, forcing us to run for cover with anything musical or electrical (which was nearly everything). We scrambled to get everything set back up to be ready for the big kick-off and then were playing 90-to-nothin' for the next hour. It was a total blast! Still, in spite of the fun we had (It wasn't just the band. There was a band of Vineyardites in tow, handing out little trinkets from the church, spreading the love) from our vantage point, the city was having a pretty good time, too.
To me, the whole experience was a practical demonstration of what we talk about every Sunday and in every home group and church-related activity: expanding the Kingdom of God. The best part was that we were participating in a party and inviting the whole city to join in.
It was sort of like getting to start a baseball game because the ace of the pitching staff went on the DL. After our entrance into the parade last year, the bar had been set pretty high with Raymond playing his Texas Blues and newly written songs. At the same time, it was an incredibly exciting opportunity. Afterall, how often does a band get to play to an entire city?
Just like last year, we warmed up playing on the float, doing our drive-by jam through the streets of Conroe, to get in position near the Montgomery County Library. To add a little bit of drama this year, a fiesty cold front rolled into town about an hour before start time, forcing us to run for cover with anything musical or electrical (which was nearly everything). We scrambled to get everything set back up to be ready for the big kick-off and then were playing 90-to-nothin' for the next hour. It was a total blast! Still, in spite of the fun we had (It wasn't just the band. There was a band of Vineyardites in tow, handing out little trinkets from the church, spreading the love) from our vantage point, the city was having a pretty good time, too.
To me, the whole experience was a practical demonstration of what we talk about every Sunday and in every home group and church-related activity: expanding the Kingdom of God. The best part was that we were participating in a party and inviting the whole city to join in.
Friday, February 13, 2009
The Trials of Ted Haggard
I heard about the release of the documentary, The Trials of Ted Haggard, on HBO a few months ago while surfing for news. I missed its premiere, but I finally got around to watching it last night.
I'm hardly a fan of Ted Haggard. I didn't really care for him before he got in trouble. Like many, I scoffed when I heard that he was caught in sin. "How could he have done something so stupid!?" Since then, I've read many of the articles that have been written about the man and the vast attitude of public opinion against him. I don't - in any way - condone of his behavior. After all, for a person is in his position who was struggling like he says he was, it would have been far better to admit the problem and sought out help than to be openly exposed and caught by surprise. As my friend and pastor says, DISclosure BEFORE EXposure. In the eyes of public opinion, he's no better off than A-Rod or Miguel Tejada, much less Jimmy Swaggart, all of them asking for forgiveness after being caught in a really embarrassing situation.
I think the thing that surprised me, while watching the documentary, was how negatively the church, as a whole, had received him after he had admitted guilt and asked for forgiveness. I mean I understand the frustration and anger of the homosexual community. It reminds me of the Van Halen album OU812, released during the time of the string of scandals involving Jim Bakker, Jimmy Swaggart, Marvin Gorman and other prominent preachers in that day. People should be upset. Haggard wasn't truthful with his family or his church at first and finally had to admit the truth when other versions of the story emerged. The film mentions, as a footnote, that another allegation was made by a church member before the film was actually aired publicly. There's just no good way to dole out bad news.
This is the problem that I have with how the man was treated by the people he once led as pastor. According to what was reported in the documentary/movie, Haggard was made to move out of the house he owned, to leave the state of Colorado and never darken the door of New Life Church again. I understand people being hurt, angry, upset - whatever - over what the guy did. This guy blew it and fell hard. Anything involving the former head of the National Association of Evangelicals, the pastor of New Life Church and the host of hundreds of conventions around the country, it's next to impossible to keep it quiet.
I think the biggest tragedy isn't necessarily what happened to him and his family. I really feel for his wife and kids having had their lives uprooted and undermined because Haggard's actions. But the guy felt so alone that he couldn't go to someone and ask for help. That's huge and awful! He was afraid of being judged before, and based on how he's been treated, he was right to feel that way. As he says in the documentary, "I feared that if I admitted my struggle, I would lose my friends, my vocation - everything." Consequently, one of the overseers in leadership at New Life says in the video "We want Ted Haggard to just go away." Everyone who attends New Life should take note of this. They could one day be saying this about you. And in case someone might think they couldn't possibly do something like what Haggard did, remember "except for the grace of God..."
I think it should also be noted how everyone - as a whole - responded to this particular incident. Would it have been as harsh had he had committed adultery with a woman? I don't think so. There's more of a stigma for homosexual behavior. By saying that, I don't condone homosexual activity. But, lets be honest, homosexual activity is the hotbutton for American Christianity right now. If it came down to it, and the average person given the choice, most people would have preferred that he would have gotten caught with a woman - or a string of women - than to get caught like this.
What I keep coming back to is that I would expect this kind of response from the media. Ted Haggard's story is the "perfect storm" in journalism. "Superpreacher busted for doing what he preached against." There will be no mercy in that arena. But, to be effectively blacklisted and subsequently blackballed by the Christian Church? I think everyone should take a step back and consider what has taken place: a Christian brother is caught in sin. Period. Sin is sin, whether its viewing pornography, adultery, or cheating on taxes. We say we understand this, but we have our own idea of what's a little worse than the rest. In conservative circles, that would be homosexual behavior.
Like many who get entangled in sin (name your poison here), Ted Haggard tried to cover his tracks only to find he was getting out of control. Originally, the story was he met with the male prostitute once for a massage. Then that story grew to regular, monthly meetings. Then, somehow drugs were involved. Finally, there was someone else besides the prostitute. Unfortunately, that's how sin works - and we know this. We do something that we said we would never do and vow not to do it again. But, we do it again and make excuses for ourselves, based on our background or experiences. Sometimes we can even be confronted and respond with lies and deceit. Considering what Haggard said in the video, he felt he could not go to anyone for help. If he could have turned to someone for help, would he have taken the opportunity? We'll never know that. The truth is that things were out of control and he finally got exposed in the worst possible way.
Now, consider the next passage of scripture in light of this scenario:
"1Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted. 2Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. 3If anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he deceives himself. 4Each one should test his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself, without comparing himself to somebody else, 5for each one should carry his own load." Galatians 6:1-5
I realize that the men involved in addressing the disciplinary action levied against Ted Haggard probably read this passage of scripture along with many others. Note the text - "if someone is caught in sin." It's as if the Apostle knew that people wouldn't likely come clean and admit their failures outright. No, they would probably get caught, one way or another. When they are, those who are spiritual have a responsibility to restore that one in the faith. The problem here isn't the fact that Ted Haggard lied and covered up his struggles, temptations and sin. He just revealed, what most of us knew all along, that at the end of the day we're all only human. No, the problem here is that when the church (in this case, New Life Church and its overseeing ministers) had the opportunity to be the agent of true healing for Ted Haggard, they chose to be his judge, jury and executioner. Rather than taking the responsibility of restoring this man to a level of respectibility in what was his own home (Ted Haggard says at one point that New Life was his life), he was banished like a leper. A 4-man panel of church overseers made the decision to deal with Ted Haggard like they did. They explain in a video (their response is shown briefly in the documentary) why they felt it necessary to deal with him the way they did. Yadda, yadda, yadda. They punted. Plain and simple. "Go away, Ted Haggard. Get help somewhere else."
I find it a curious question to ask, if they were found in the same circumstances, how would they want to be dealt with? If it were me, I would prefer this:
14 David said to Gad, "I am in deep distress. Let us fall into the hands of the LORD, for his mercy is great; but do not let me fall into the hands of men." 2nd Samuel 24:14.
Unfortunately, Ted Haggard learned just how harsh and true this passage could be.
I'm hardly a fan of Ted Haggard. I didn't really care for him before he got in trouble. Like many, I scoffed when I heard that he was caught in sin. "How could he have done something so stupid!?" Since then, I've read many of the articles that have been written about the man and the vast attitude of public opinion against him. I don't - in any way - condone of his behavior. After all, for a person is in his position who was struggling like he says he was, it would have been far better to admit the problem and sought out help than to be openly exposed and caught by surprise. As my friend and pastor says, DISclosure BEFORE EXposure. In the eyes of public opinion, he's no better off than A-Rod or Miguel Tejada, much less Jimmy Swaggart, all of them asking for forgiveness after being caught in a really embarrassing situation.
I think the thing that surprised me, while watching the documentary, was how negatively the church, as a whole, had received him after he had admitted guilt and asked for forgiveness. I mean I understand the frustration and anger of the homosexual community. It reminds me of the Van Halen album OU812, released during the time of the string of scandals involving Jim Bakker, Jimmy Swaggart, Marvin Gorman and other prominent preachers in that day. People should be upset. Haggard wasn't truthful with his family or his church at first and finally had to admit the truth when other versions of the story emerged. The film mentions, as a footnote, that another allegation was made by a church member before the film was actually aired publicly. There's just no good way to dole out bad news.
This is the problem that I have with how the man was treated by the people he once led as pastor. According to what was reported in the documentary/movie, Haggard was made to move out of the house he owned, to leave the state of Colorado and never darken the door of New Life Church again. I understand people being hurt, angry, upset - whatever - over what the guy did. This guy blew it and fell hard. Anything involving the former head of the National Association of Evangelicals, the pastor of New Life Church and the host of hundreds of conventions around the country, it's next to impossible to keep it quiet.
I think the biggest tragedy isn't necessarily what happened to him and his family. I really feel for his wife and kids having had their lives uprooted and undermined because Haggard's actions. But the guy felt so alone that he couldn't go to someone and ask for help. That's huge and awful! He was afraid of being judged before, and based on how he's been treated, he was right to feel that way. As he says in the documentary, "I feared that if I admitted my struggle, I would lose my friends, my vocation - everything." Consequently, one of the overseers in leadership at New Life says in the video "We want Ted Haggard to just go away." Everyone who attends New Life should take note of this. They could one day be saying this about you. And in case someone might think they couldn't possibly do something like what Haggard did, remember "except for the grace of God..."
I think it should also be noted how everyone - as a whole - responded to this particular incident. Would it have been as harsh had he had committed adultery with a woman? I don't think so. There's more of a stigma for homosexual behavior. By saying that, I don't condone homosexual activity. But, lets be honest, homosexual activity is the hotbutton for American Christianity right now. If it came down to it, and the average person given the choice, most people would have preferred that he would have gotten caught with a woman - or a string of women - than to get caught like this.
What I keep coming back to is that I would expect this kind of response from the media. Ted Haggard's story is the "perfect storm" in journalism. "Superpreacher busted for doing what he preached against." There will be no mercy in that arena. But, to be effectively blacklisted and subsequently blackballed by the Christian Church? I think everyone should take a step back and consider what has taken place: a Christian brother is caught in sin. Period. Sin is sin, whether its viewing pornography, adultery, or cheating on taxes. We say we understand this, but we have our own idea of what's a little worse than the rest. In conservative circles, that would be homosexual behavior.
Like many who get entangled in sin (name your poison here), Ted Haggard tried to cover his tracks only to find he was getting out of control. Originally, the story was he met with the male prostitute once for a massage. Then that story grew to regular, monthly meetings. Then, somehow drugs were involved. Finally, there was someone else besides the prostitute. Unfortunately, that's how sin works - and we know this. We do something that we said we would never do and vow not to do it again. But, we do it again and make excuses for ourselves, based on our background or experiences. Sometimes we can even be confronted and respond with lies and deceit. Considering what Haggard said in the video, he felt he could not go to anyone for help. If he could have turned to someone for help, would he have taken the opportunity? We'll never know that. The truth is that things were out of control and he finally got exposed in the worst possible way.
Now, consider the next passage of scripture in light of this scenario:
"1Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted. 2Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. 3If anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he deceives himself. 4Each one should test his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself, without comparing himself to somebody else, 5for each one should carry his own load." Galatians 6:1-5
I realize that the men involved in addressing the disciplinary action levied against Ted Haggard probably read this passage of scripture along with many others. Note the text - "if someone is caught in sin." It's as if the Apostle knew that people wouldn't likely come clean and admit their failures outright. No, they would probably get caught, one way or another. When they are, those who are spiritual have a responsibility to restore that one in the faith. The problem here isn't the fact that Ted Haggard lied and covered up his struggles, temptations and sin. He just revealed, what most of us knew all along, that at the end of the day we're all only human. No, the problem here is that when the church (in this case, New Life Church and its overseeing ministers) had the opportunity to be the agent of true healing for Ted Haggard, they chose to be his judge, jury and executioner. Rather than taking the responsibility of restoring this man to a level of respectibility in what was his own home (Ted Haggard says at one point that New Life was his life), he was banished like a leper. A 4-man panel of church overseers made the decision to deal with Ted Haggard like they did. They explain in a video (their response is shown briefly in the documentary) why they felt it necessary to deal with him the way they did. Yadda, yadda, yadda. They punted. Plain and simple. "Go away, Ted Haggard. Get help somewhere else."
I find it a curious question to ask, if they were found in the same circumstances, how would they want to be dealt with? If it were me, I would prefer this:
14 David said to Gad, "I am in deep distress. Let us fall into the hands of the LORD, for his mercy is great; but do not let me fall into the hands of men." 2nd Samuel 24:14.
Unfortunately, Ted Haggard learned just how harsh and true this passage could be.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
A-Fraud Is Just The Beginning...
When I heard about the Sports Illustrated story regarding A-Rod's positive test for steroids, I, like many others, wondered "what about the rest?" After all, there were 104 names on the list - including A-Fraud. Why haven't we heard about them, yet? I don't know if we'll ever get the answer to that question.
After reading A-Fraud's admission and subsequent comments regarding steroid use, he raises more questions and provides less answers. Are we supposed to believe the guy didn't know what he was taking? More importantly, are we supposed to believe he's sorry for doing it? I think he's sorry he got caught. I also think he's used PED's a lot longer than any of us will ever know.
But, A-Fraud isn't alone. There are many, more guys like him who took PED's and never thought the day would come that their performance would ever come into question. Look at Miguel Tejada. Look at Roger Clemens and his testimony on Capitol Hill. The guy gets named in the Mitchell Report and his denial sounds like that everyone else is lying but him.
I think the latest developments raises another important question: should we even care about baseball anymore. Should we? When the all-time leader in home runs and the winning-est pitcher in the modern, live-ball era are being investigated for possibly lying about their use of Performance Enhancing Drugs (PED's), what does that say for the sport?! The original leaders in those categories didn't have access to them but apparently didn't need them. What does that say about today's talent? I'm sure there were a lot of clean guys playing while the cheaters cheated. Still, every stat and record has become suspect and we're nowhere close to getting to the bottom of this mess. The only way we can is for baseball to "man-up" and get it the truth out there.
But, they probably won't. No, they're hoping this story goes away. The business of baseball wants fans to ignore these questions and come on out to the ballpark for another season. I've got a feeling that I'm not going to be one of them. I don't know that I even care.
After reading A-Fraud's admission and subsequent comments regarding steroid use, he raises more questions and provides less answers. Are we supposed to believe the guy didn't know what he was taking? More importantly, are we supposed to believe he's sorry for doing it? I think he's sorry he got caught. I also think he's used PED's a lot longer than any of us will ever know.
But, A-Fraud isn't alone. There are many, more guys like him who took PED's and never thought the day would come that their performance would ever come into question. Look at Miguel Tejada. Look at Roger Clemens and his testimony on Capitol Hill. The guy gets named in the Mitchell Report and his denial sounds like that everyone else is lying but him.
I think the latest developments raises another important question: should we even care about baseball anymore. Should we? When the all-time leader in home runs and the winning-est pitcher in the modern, live-ball era are being investigated for possibly lying about their use of Performance Enhancing Drugs (PED's), what does that say for the sport?! The original leaders in those categories didn't have access to them but apparently didn't need them. What does that say about today's talent? I'm sure there were a lot of clean guys playing while the cheaters cheated. Still, every stat and record has become suspect and we're nowhere close to getting to the bottom of this mess. The only way we can is for baseball to "man-up" and get it the truth out there.
But, they probably won't. No, they're hoping this story goes away. The business of baseball wants fans to ignore these questions and come on out to the ballpark for another season. I've got a feeling that I'm not going to be one of them. I don't know that I even care.
Saturday, February 07, 2009
A few days ago, I signed up for a Facebook account. My wife had been signed up for a couple of weeks and had been talking non-stop about it. She would go on and on about what her friends and family were telling her while she was online. So, I followed suit. My 16 year old daughter also signed up about the same time.
Since then, I've received almost 500 e-mails from Facebook. I've tagged probably a hundred pics of myself with people I've known over the past 30 years. I've posted 50 pics of my own and I'm scouring through old scrap books, year books and saved digital pictures so I can post them on Facebook, too. Would anyone happen to know how to convert VHS to digital video? I have some great footage from high school that I would LOVE to share online. See, this is how it goes.
Then, there's the people. I've heard the comedy routine (though I can't remember the comedian) that says the guy won't attend his high school class reunion. He says "why should I go? I didn't like those people then. Why would I want to see them now?" I have to say there are a few people that I wouldn't care to catch up with now that I'm all grown up. But, there are a lot more that I would like to know or find out where they are and how they're getting along. I started doing that earlier this week. All week long, I would take out time throughout the day to see who else I could catch up with. I talked to my college roommate on Thursday for about 30 minutes. I hadn't seen the guy in almost 20 years. I heard from many more that I hadn't seen or heard in at least that amount of time or any time since.
I've heard all sorts of things about Facebook, and it seems one of them is common: the word addictive. I would have to agree with that. Facebook IS addictive! It's exciting to catch up with people after a long hiatus. It's also riviting to wonder who you might hear from next. I will say one thing, I'd much rather say that I'm addicted to Facebook, than say to internet porn or anything else. Say "addicted to Facebook" and people will laugh or agree with you. Say "addicted to internet porn" and people flee like you have the plague.
Since then, I've received almost 500 e-mails from Facebook. I've tagged probably a hundred pics of myself with people I've known over the past 30 years. I've posted 50 pics of my own and I'm scouring through old scrap books, year books and saved digital pictures so I can post them on Facebook, too. Would anyone happen to know how to convert VHS to digital video? I have some great footage from high school that I would LOVE to share online. See, this is how it goes.
Then, there's the people. I've heard the comedy routine (though I can't remember the comedian) that says the guy won't attend his high school class reunion. He says "why should I go? I didn't like those people then. Why would I want to see them now?" I have to say there are a few people that I wouldn't care to catch up with now that I'm all grown up. But, there are a lot more that I would like to know or find out where they are and how they're getting along. I started doing that earlier this week. All week long, I would take out time throughout the day to see who else I could catch up with. I talked to my college roommate on Thursday for about 30 minutes. I hadn't seen the guy in almost 20 years. I heard from many more that I hadn't seen or heard in at least that amount of time or any time since.
I've heard all sorts of things about Facebook, and it seems one of them is common: the word addictive. I would have to agree with that. Facebook IS addictive! It's exciting to catch up with people after a long hiatus. It's also riviting to wonder who you might hear from next. I will say one thing, I'd much rather say that I'm addicted to Facebook, than say to internet porn or anything else. Say "addicted to Facebook" and people will laugh or agree with you. Say "addicted to internet porn" and people flee like you have the plague.
Friday, January 09, 2009
A Result I Can Live With
On the way to work this morning, I heard the announcement of the final NCAA football rankings for the 2008 season. The entire list can be seen here. Florida, fresh from knocking off No. 1 Oklahoma, is now No. 1 and recognized as the AP national champion. They are followed by the undefeated Utah Utes at No. 2. Then, fresh from their trouncing of Penn State in the Rose Bowl, it's USC at No. 3. Texas slipped to No.4 after surviving Ohio State in the Fiesta Bowl, but finished ahead of Oklahoma, who fell to No. 5.
It does seem a little odd that the 13-1, National Champ Gators are such, when the team right behind them finished the year 13-0. Of course everyone says that Florida and Utah are where they are because of the strength and/or weakness of their collective schedules. I know why things are the way they are. The BCS system is a money-maker and a playoff system isn't. It could be, but it would take innovation that noone in this country seems motivated to assert. I'm sure this won't be the last time people are disappointed by this system. But what if next year more non-BCS teams knock off the BCS members in the BCS championship series? Wouldn't that be a sight!? Perhaps the BCS era would finally come to the crashing ending it deserves. Sure, it's wishful thinking. But, really, what if...I'm getting way more excited about this than I ever intended.
At least the football gods saw fit to see to it that Texas finished ahead of Oklahoma in the polls this year. I guess the results of the Red River Rivalry actually did mean something afterall - and that makes sense.
It does seem a little odd that the 13-1, National Champ Gators are such, when the team right behind them finished the year 13-0. Of course everyone says that Florida and Utah are where they are because of the strength and/or weakness of their collective schedules. I know why things are the way they are. The BCS system is a money-maker and a playoff system isn't. It could be, but it would take innovation that noone in this country seems motivated to assert. I'm sure this won't be the last time people are disappointed by this system. But what if next year more non-BCS teams knock off the BCS members in the BCS championship series? Wouldn't that be a sight!? Perhaps the BCS era would finally come to the crashing ending it deserves. Sure, it's wishful thinking. But, really, what if...I'm getting way more excited about this than I ever intended.
At least the football gods saw fit to see to it that Texas finished ahead of Oklahoma in the polls this year. I guess the results of the Red River Rivalry actually did mean something afterall - and that makes sense.
Thursday, January 08, 2009
Who's No. 1 Now?!
I have to chime in on the debate about the BCS championship game tonight. Oklahoma, a team that lost to the No. 3 team, Texas, by 10 points on a neutral field earlier this season was No. 1, by a computer's calculations. They were paired with the computer-ranked No. 2, Florida and lost on a neutral field. Florida's only loss, by a mere 1 point, came earlier in the year to a team that finished the season ranked No. 25, Ole Miss. Texas' only loss was by 6 points in the waning seconds of an away game by a Texas Tech team that had been ranked as high as No. 2 before a big loss to Oklahoma and Ole Miss in the Cotton Bowl.
So should No. 2 be No. 1 now? What about No. 3? What do the computers say? How about the coaches? Everyone knows anything knows the BCS system is a joke and this season should be reason enough to trash the system. With the national championship game in the rear-view mirror, has anything been resolved? It seems there's far more questions than answers. What about the nation's only undefeated team - Utah? I think I agree that Utah has as good a claim on national prominence as anyone. But, I'm still pulling for the Horns to get a piece of the title this year. Why not?
Hook 'em!
So should No. 2 be No. 1 now? What about No. 3? What do the computers say? How about the coaches? Everyone knows anything knows the BCS system is a joke and this season should be reason enough to trash the system. With the national championship game in the rear-view mirror, has anything been resolved? It seems there's far more questions than answers. What about the nation's only undefeated team - Utah? I think I agree that Utah has as good a claim on national prominence as anyone. But, I'm still pulling for the Horns to get a piece of the title this year. Why not?
Hook 'em!
Friday, January 02, 2009
Hope Abounds
"I will speak of your statutes before kings and will not be put to shame..." Psalm 119:46
As this new year begins, there are all sorts of uncertainties all around. Conflict in the middle-east is heating up, the financial state of the country is in total upheaval and the government is in the midst of significant transition. Many are concerned about the stability of their employment and those who are seeking jobs are finding that new jobs are hard to find. Like the story of "Chicken Little" everyone is is saying the sky is falling.
In the face of such uncertainty, where does one turn? Scripture is clear - those who trust the Lord will not be put to shame. At a time when so many are looking for answers, those who place their trust whole-heartedly in the Lord God can demonstrate the reality of His existence to an unbelieving world.
As one of the pastors at my church, the Vineyard Church of Conroe, Brian "the Distinguished Friar" Fox, has said "what better opportunity to demonstrate hope than when the world is crying out "the sky is falling" by living a life of thanksgiving to and trust in the living God.
It is my sincere hope, wish and prayer while surrounded by those who may be crying out that the "sky is falling" you will witness the goodness of God's provision and the reality of His grace in 2009.
As this new year begins, there are all sorts of uncertainties all around. Conflict in the middle-east is heating up, the financial state of the country is in total upheaval and the government is in the midst of significant transition. Many are concerned about the stability of their employment and those who are seeking jobs are finding that new jobs are hard to find. Like the story of "Chicken Little" everyone is is saying the sky is falling.
In the face of such uncertainty, where does one turn? Scripture is clear - those who trust the Lord will not be put to shame. At a time when so many are looking for answers, those who place their trust whole-heartedly in the Lord God can demonstrate the reality of His existence to an unbelieving world.
As one of the pastors at my church, the Vineyard Church of Conroe, Brian "the Distinguished Friar" Fox, has said "what better opportunity to demonstrate hope than when the world is crying out "the sky is falling" by living a life of thanksgiving to and trust in the living God.
It is my sincere hope, wish and prayer while surrounded by those who may be crying out that the "sky is falling" you will witness the goodness of God's provision and the reality of His grace in 2009.
Saturday, December 27, 2008
Random Thoughts On An Approaching New Year
I've heard the talk, seen the news as well as the signs of an economic crisis evolving around me. There are signs of problems, but nothing that is too alarming, to me anyway. I'm sure there are people experiencing hard times. But, thank the Good Lord Almighty, I'm not one of them.
I voted for John McCain in the past election because I believed what I read about Barack Obama and was afraid he would take the country on a high-speed collision course with the apocalypse. There were all those seedy people with questionable connections to the man. But, I wasn't too crazy about John McCain before the election. I thought he would slow the course to Armeggedon and, like many others who voted for him, hoped he'd die in time to let Sarah Palin run the country - if he got elected, of course.
But, now I'm changing my attitude toward the president elect. Maybe he is a socialist. Then again, maybe not. I really don't know and I don't think anyone else who says otherwise knows for sure, either. I think a lot of people are nervous because they don't know what the guy is going to do. I think the vast majority is doing exactly what he asked, on the night he was elected, daring to hope for the best. So far he's assembled a pretty good team around himself and shown a lot of drive to do what's good for the country. It's the kind of thing that instills hope. What if the man is the kind of man to steer the country from the depths of financial crisis to stability again? What if he is the one to truly bring people together and unify a divided country? What if he's the one who can provide the leadership that's needed in such an uncertain time?
What if?!
We can only wait to see.
I voted for John McCain in the past election because I believed what I read about Barack Obama and was afraid he would take the country on a high-speed collision course with the apocalypse. There were all those seedy people with questionable connections to the man. But, I wasn't too crazy about John McCain before the election. I thought he would slow the course to Armeggedon and, like many others who voted for him, hoped he'd die in time to let Sarah Palin run the country - if he got elected, of course.
But, now I'm changing my attitude toward the president elect. Maybe he is a socialist. Then again, maybe not. I really don't know and I don't think anyone else who says otherwise knows for sure, either. I think a lot of people are nervous because they don't know what the guy is going to do. I think the vast majority is doing exactly what he asked, on the night he was elected, daring to hope for the best. So far he's assembled a pretty good team around himself and shown a lot of drive to do what's good for the country. It's the kind of thing that instills hope. What if the man is the kind of man to steer the country from the depths of financial crisis to stability again? What if he is the one to truly bring people together and unify a divided country? What if he's the one who can provide the leadership that's needed in such an uncertain time?
What if?!
We can only wait to see.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Another Critic of the UIL Football Playoff System in Texas
Several years ago, I wrote on this blog about being frustrated with the Texas high school football playoff system. It turns out that I'm not alone. My former little league baseball coach and local sports writer, for the Athens Daily Review in Athens, Texas, Benny Rogers, has his own bone to pick with the system & the University Interscholastic League. My complaint was more personal - based on the childhood experience of seeing my heroes get so close and to fall short - because the rules then only allowed 1 representative from the district to advance into the playoffs. Benny was one of my heroes and he experienced the frustration of getting so close to achieving the goal of reaching the playoffs, but to be denied by the system. He's also covered sports practically every year since his graduation from Malakoff High School in 1977. His complaint is more principled and less personal than my own. Here's the story in its entirity:
If you’ve checked in with me from time to time through the years, you no doubt know I am not a fan of the current playoff format the University Interscholastic League uses for football. Four playoff teams from each district in the top two classifications (there are three from the districts in the lower ones) are too many. I’ve always thought that, always will and don’t apologize for it.
But the watered-down playoff format doesn’t stop there. Oh, goodness no. Here in the Lone Star State, where we believe high school football is the best played anywhere (and it is), we crown two state champions in each classification. Yes, that’s 12 state champions in football each year, if you’re keeping score.
When a second playoff team from each district was added over 20 years ago, it made sense. There were some really good teams being left behind come playoff time and just one state champion from each classification was being crowned.
But now with the way things are, it’s gotten so out of whack that we have schools losing games on purpose to affect which playoff bracket in which they’ll compete because of the perceived strength of another school. Folks, something is terribly, terribly wrong when that happens and, to me, goes against the values athletics is supposed to help teach the young men (and women) who participate in high school football.
Surely, at some point before the UIL allows every school in each district to make the playoffs, someone will see the need to improve the system. But don’t hold your breath, not as long as there’s a dollar to be made.
The solution is really quite simple.
Basketball, baseball and softball have it right, where three teams from each district make the playoffs. The district champion is rewarded with a first-round bye and one state champion in each classification is crowned.
That makes absolute sense, which is another reason not to expect the UIL to ever use it where football is concerned.
Hey, I’m all for more kids getting to experience the playoffs, which is the argument the UIL makes to shield itself from dollar signs. But I suggest to you the experience is far more rewarding if it has truly been earned and not as a result of circumstance.
OK, I’ve said all that again for the umpteenth time. For now, I feel better.
I have to say it feels good not to be alone in the same sentiment. Thanks, Benny.
THE ROGERS REPORT: Playoff format still needs fixing
By Benny Rogers Sports EditorIf you’ve checked in with me from time to time through the years, you no doubt know I am not a fan of the current playoff format the University Interscholastic League uses for football. Four playoff teams from each district in the top two classifications (there are three from the districts in the lower ones) are too many. I’ve always thought that, always will and don’t apologize for it.
But the watered-down playoff format doesn’t stop there. Oh, goodness no. Here in the Lone Star State, where we believe high school football is the best played anywhere (and it is), we crown two state champions in each classification. Yes, that’s 12 state champions in football each year, if you’re keeping score.
When a second playoff team from each district was added over 20 years ago, it made sense. There were some really good teams being left behind come playoff time and just one state champion from each classification was being crowned.
But now with the way things are, it’s gotten so out of whack that we have schools losing games on purpose to affect which playoff bracket in which they’ll compete because of the perceived strength of another school. Folks, something is terribly, terribly wrong when that happens and, to me, goes against the values athletics is supposed to help teach the young men (and women) who participate in high school football.
Surely, at some point before the UIL allows every school in each district to make the playoffs, someone will see the need to improve the system. But don’t hold your breath, not as long as there’s a dollar to be made.
The solution is really quite simple.
Basketball, baseball and softball have it right, where three teams from each district make the playoffs. The district champion is rewarded with a first-round bye and one state champion in each classification is crowned.
That makes absolute sense, which is another reason not to expect the UIL to ever use it where football is concerned.
Hey, I’m all for more kids getting to experience the playoffs, which is the argument the UIL makes to shield itself from dollar signs. But I suggest to you the experience is far more rewarding if it has truly been earned and not as a result of circumstance.
OK, I’ve said all that again for the umpteenth time. For now, I feel better.
I have to say it feels good not to be alone in the same sentiment. Thanks, Benny.
Friday, October 24, 2008
Stupid People
The things people often do don't really surprise me. Really. I think people are capable of almost anything, good or bad, smart or dumb - just think about it. How often have we seen the most ridiculous stories in the news? But, I have to say I just saw the most ridiculous thing I've seen in my entire adult life today. The lady who said she was mugged and then beaten and made into wacky sort of message board (she had the letter "B" etched into her face) made the entire thing up. If the link isn't available, it's because the entire world wants to read about the dumbass who lied about being mugged and scarred for being a McCain supporter. No wonder the Democrats, who have pulled some pretty ridiculous stunts themselves, demonize the Republican Party and say "they will do anything to get elected". I guess so! Geez! With people running around like this, the idea of a free society is a joke. Apparently, she was eligible to vote before this stunt. It would be justice to take her vote away from her!
By the way, the perp in this story was supposedly from Texas and a student at Texas A&M. I doubt this will ever get back to her, but in case it does:
Whoever you are, please DON'T COME BACK TO TEXAS. WE DON'T WANT YOU HERE!
Dumbass!
By the way, the perp in this story was supposedly from Texas and a student at Texas A&M. I doubt this will ever get back to her, but in case it does:
Whoever you are, please DON'T COME BACK TO TEXAS. WE DON'T WANT YOU HERE!
Dumbass!
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
"The Circle is Now Complete..."
Everyone who grew up with Star Wars as part of their childhood has heard these words and knew what Darth Vader meant when he said them. "The Circle is Now Complete..." As an 8 or 10 year old kid, I cringed the first time I heard those words. Of course we know what happened next, too: Darth Vader killed Ben Obi-wan Kenobi. Or did he?
Anyway, I've been pondering the meaning of those words and how they relate to my life up until now. Those, who know me fairly well, know that I've suffered several setbacks during my adult life. Whether they were my fault or at the hand of someone else, the affects of these events have had far reaching "consequences and repercussions," to quote one of my favorite movies, "Life." Actually, when bad things happen, it's very easy to blame everyone and everything remotely involved for inflicting hurt on you. I'm sure others have dealt with this sort of thing. Only until recently I've been able to see just to what extent I've done this to myself.
I wrote in this blog previously about my Walk to Emmaus. I didn't go into a lot of depth about my experiences there. One of the bigger happenings that took place there was when I admitted, before God and everybody, that I had been harboring bitterness in my heart. I was bitter about things that had been done to me over the years. Bitter about things that just happened that put me on the short end of the proverbial stick. Bitter because i had been purposely wronged by people who I had previously trusted. I've told others about what happened afterwards, though I've not written it here. It was an incredible, eye-opening experience.
This all happened at a point in the retreat called "Dying Moments" when the Emmaus Pilgrims give things to God. Typically they're hurtful and damaging things. And for me, that thing was bitterness. When I knelt at the cross in the chapel, I felt like I had a ton of lead strapped to my shoulders. When I stood to my feet, it was as if all that weight had been completely lifted off of me. Literally, it was like the scene from Alien, early in the movie, where the guy has one of those things to latch onto his face and stick that sucker thing down his throat. I know, disgusting stuff. But, when I stood to my feet, whatever that thing was - it was no longer there. It was if I was breathing for myself again, seeing the sunshine and tasting the air as if for the first time.
I didn't know it then, but that event was just a beginning for even more dramatic events that would follow. Since my walk, I've apologized to and asked forgiveness of others for how I've responded to things that have happened between us over the years. Things have been happening again and again, too, allowing me to move past feelings of ill will and hurt to real wholeness. However, with everything that's been going on, I wasn't quite prepared for what happened earlier this week.
My wife has been planning to return to college and finish her bachelor's degree. She had been trying to get back in the University of Houston, but ran into one snag after another with her previous records with their institution. I suggested to her to consider returning to the school where we met, Southwestern Assemblies of God University. They have an extension education program and could likely be the fastest course to a degree available to her. She checked into it and sure enough, it was perfect. It was the last place she had attended and she could literally pick up where she left off many, many years ago. The only issue was the fact that we just didn't like the place anymore and didn't want anything to do with it.
My wife had to go up to the campus for an orientation session, even though she would not be attending classes on campus. We took off a couple of days and went up to Waxahachie dreading the whole thing. In the course of the orientation session, one of my favorite professors, who still teaches at the university, spoke to the group of new and returning students and invited us to join him on a Prayer Walk around the university campus. "For crying out loud" I thought to myself. "I don't want to look around this place." I went along, as moral support for my wife (BTW, you owe me BIG TIME!) and joined the group. We got to the first stop and the professor began talking about God ordaining the events of the orientation, who would be there, why they were there now - all that sort of stuff. He talked about how groups of people from churches all over the country have come to the campus since the mid-90's and would pray in that particular spot for prospective students and their decision to complete their education at SAGU. He said it wasn't an accident that we were there now. He said things about why it wasn't too late to start over and how the university was a tool that God wanted to use further His purposes for this stage of our lives.
All of a sudden, it hit me - in an overwhelming flood of thoughts and emotions. When I arrived on that campus, 18 1/2 years before that day, I came there with gigantic hopes and dreams. In the course of my time there, things happened and I made choices that determined my course there on campus and beyond. During those times, I didn't confide in anyone and made decisions that had far reaching affects. Faced with those consequences and repercussions, I chose to respond with resentment and anger. From that point forward, everything was seen through those lenses. I comforted myself with those feelings of resentment because people had hurt me. They were to blame and this university was a representative of each and every one of them - overriding the good things that happened all at the same time. Pretty sad, huh?
A lot of emotion was tied up in that place, whether I wanted to believe it or not. But, there, in a moment, I was reminded, as my favorite professor spoke, that despite my experiences, the institution was not to blame for what happened to us. It had been dedicated to fulfilling the Great Commission of Jesus and that was the reason that I and my wife were back there. There were and still are many good, Godly men and women who instruct young and old men and women alike as their service to God. As a result, many of our classmates - past and present - have gone on to be pastors, evangelists, missionaries, as well as businessmen and women, medical and psychological professionals and educators. We've been getting excited about possibly doing some sort of ministry thing again at some point, as God sees fit. We just didn't realize that the place that we had grown to despise would be the place that would and could serve as the launching pad for every hope and dream that continues to be renewed almost daily for each of us. The place that had so many bad memories for us had been a place of good memories before. Now, it could be a place of good memories again.
The circle is now complete, but I'm not looking to kill somebody, like Darth Vader did - or didn't exactly do. Instead now, we can get on with living out the rest of our lives to the Glory of God and leave the past in the past.
Anyway, I've been pondering the meaning of those words and how they relate to my life up until now. Those, who know me fairly well, know that I've suffered several setbacks during my adult life. Whether they were my fault or at the hand of someone else, the affects of these events have had far reaching "consequences and repercussions," to quote one of my favorite movies, "Life." Actually, when bad things happen, it's very easy to blame everyone and everything remotely involved for inflicting hurt on you. I'm sure others have dealt with this sort of thing. Only until recently I've been able to see just to what extent I've done this to myself.
I wrote in this blog previously about my Walk to Emmaus. I didn't go into a lot of depth about my experiences there. One of the bigger happenings that took place there was when I admitted, before God and everybody, that I had been harboring bitterness in my heart. I was bitter about things that had been done to me over the years. Bitter about things that just happened that put me on the short end of the proverbial stick. Bitter because i had been purposely wronged by people who I had previously trusted. I've told others about what happened afterwards, though I've not written it here. It was an incredible, eye-opening experience.
This all happened at a point in the retreat called "Dying Moments" when the Emmaus Pilgrims give things to God. Typically they're hurtful and damaging things. And for me, that thing was bitterness. When I knelt at the cross in the chapel, I felt like I had a ton of lead strapped to my shoulders. When I stood to my feet, it was as if all that weight had been completely lifted off of me. Literally, it was like the scene from Alien, early in the movie, where the guy has one of those things to latch onto his face and stick that sucker thing down his throat. I know, disgusting stuff. But, when I stood to my feet, whatever that thing was - it was no longer there. It was if I was breathing for myself again, seeing the sunshine and tasting the air as if for the first time.
I didn't know it then, but that event was just a beginning for even more dramatic events that would follow. Since my walk, I've apologized to and asked forgiveness of others for how I've responded to things that have happened between us over the years. Things have been happening again and again, too, allowing me to move past feelings of ill will and hurt to real wholeness. However, with everything that's been going on, I wasn't quite prepared for what happened earlier this week.
My wife has been planning to return to college and finish her bachelor's degree. She had been trying to get back in the University of Houston, but ran into one snag after another with her previous records with their institution. I suggested to her to consider returning to the school where we met, Southwestern Assemblies of God University. They have an extension education program and could likely be the fastest course to a degree available to her. She checked into it and sure enough, it was perfect. It was the last place she had attended and she could literally pick up where she left off many, many years ago. The only issue was the fact that we just didn't like the place anymore and didn't want anything to do with it.
My wife had to go up to the campus for an orientation session, even though she would not be attending classes on campus. We took off a couple of days and went up to Waxahachie dreading the whole thing. In the course of the orientation session, one of my favorite professors, who still teaches at the university, spoke to the group of new and returning students and invited us to join him on a Prayer Walk around the university campus. "For crying out loud" I thought to myself. "I don't want to look around this place." I went along, as moral support for my wife (BTW, you owe me BIG TIME!) and joined the group. We got to the first stop and the professor began talking about God ordaining the events of the orientation, who would be there, why they were there now - all that sort of stuff. He talked about how groups of people from churches all over the country have come to the campus since the mid-90's and would pray in that particular spot for prospective students and their decision to complete their education at SAGU. He said it wasn't an accident that we were there now. He said things about why it wasn't too late to start over and how the university was a tool that God wanted to use further His purposes for this stage of our lives.
All of a sudden, it hit me - in an overwhelming flood of thoughts and emotions. When I arrived on that campus, 18 1/2 years before that day, I came there with gigantic hopes and dreams. In the course of my time there, things happened and I made choices that determined my course there on campus and beyond. During those times, I didn't confide in anyone and made decisions that had far reaching affects. Faced with those consequences and repercussions, I chose to respond with resentment and anger. From that point forward, everything was seen through those lenses. I comforted myself with those feelings of resentment because people had hurt me. They were to blame and this university was a representative of each and every one of them - overriding the good things that happened all at the same time. Pretty sad, huh?
A lot of emotion was tied up in that place, whether I wanted to believe it or not. But, there, in a moment, I was reminded, as my favorite professor spoke, that despite my experiences, the institution was not to blame for what happened to us. It had been dedicated to fulfilling the Great Commission of Jesus and that was the reason that I and my wife were back there. There were and still are many good, Godly men and women who instruct young and old men and women alike as their service to God. As a result, many of our classmates - past and present - have gone on to be pastors, evangelists, missionaries, as well as businessmen and women, medical and psychological professionals and educators. We've been getting excited about possibly doing some sort of ministry thing again at some point, as God sees fit. We just didn't realize that the place that we had grown to despise would be the place that would and could serve as the launching pad for every hope and dream that continues to be renewed almost daily for each of us. The place that had so many bad memories for us had been a place of good memories before. Now, it could be a place of good memories again.
The circle is now complete, but I'm not looking to kill somebody, like Darth Vader did - or didn't exactly do. Instead now, we can get on with living out the rest of our lives to the Glory of God and leave the past in the past.
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Walkin' to Emmaus...
I just returned from what I hope is a keystone in the course of my life.
Last weekend I participated in a Walk to Emmaus, a spiritual retreat sponsored by the Methodist church. I had heard the stories - though very few. More accurately, I had several people encouraging me to go on the retreat, telling me how beneficial it would be. I left a week ago today and returned last Sunday. It was truly one of the most remarkable experiences in my life.
At the risk of sounding like a poster-child or a free advertisement for the Emmaus Community, I will say it was the most impressive, powerful, structured, efficient and effective events I have ever been associated with - in church or out. I can't go into great detail because someone might stumble across this blog and have the "cat let out of the bag" for them. I will suffice it to say that I owe a great deal of thanks to the volunteers and sponsors of this event. I wish I had gone on a Walk much sooner. I know for sure that I will be a better and more effective husband, father, son, brother and friend than ever before.
De Colores!
(To find out what De Colores stands for, I encourage you to search out a local Emmaus Community and take a Walk yourself)
Last weekend I participated in a Walk to Emmaus, a spiritual retreat sponsored by the Methodist church. I had heard the stories - though very few. More accurately, I had several people encouraging me to go on the retreat, telling me how beneficial it would be. I left a week ago today and returned last Sunday. It was truly one of the most remarkable experiences in my life.
At the risk of sounding like a poster-child or a free advertisement for the Emmaus Community, I will say it was the most impressive, powerful, structured, efficient and effective events I have ever been associated with - in church or out. I can't go into great detail because someone might stumble across this blog and have the "cat let out of the bag" for them. I will suffice it to say that I owe a great deal of thanks to the volunteers and sponsors of this event. I wish I had gone on a Walk much sooner. I know for sure that I will be a better and more effective husband, father, son, brother and friend than ever before.
De Colores!
(To find out what De Colores stands for, I encourage you to search out a local Emmaus Community and take a Walk yourself)
Monday, March 24, 2008
Ahh...Spring Break...
One of the things that happened in the last six months - since I last wrote in my blog - was my starting a new job. I had been working for a large title company in Houston, working late nights and making a long commute from home to Houston and back. I got the opportunity to work a little closer to home at a local school district just across the lake from Conroe where we live. I took the job with the understanding that I would get school vacation dates (except for summers. They are our most busy time) plus sick and vacation days. This was welcome news after having a max of 20 days of vacation and sick time off in previous employment - not to mention all the time away from my family. So, I took the job. Pretty easy choice.
At the time, I didn't realize that I had the option of bringing my children with me to school in the district, which as a school employee, I had the right to do. When I started the job, I posed the question of transferring to all of my children, but only the youngest chose to make the change. Eventually her siblings decided to made their break from our local school district and now make the trip with me every day.
Now, after 6 months of going to school together, the 5 of us are getting spring break together (my wife doesn't work for the school district. She had to take off in order to spend it with us). It's the first time I've gotten a spring break since I was a student myself. We were planning to do some tubing down the Guadalupe and Comal Rivers in New Braunfels, but thanks to a cold snap, we're just going to be doing some sight-seeing for now. Of course that involves a little bit of driving and right now that means the 5 of us are spending a lot of time in a beat-up, 4-door Saturn SL1. But, considering the fact that I was spending so much time away from my family a year ago, being packed in a little car ain't all that bad.
At the time, I didn't realize that I had the option of bringing my children with me to school in the district, which as a school employee, I had the right to do. When I started the job, I posed the question of transferring to all of my children, but only the youngest chose to make the change. Eventually her siblings decided to made their break from our local school district and now make the trip with me every day.
Now, after 6 months of going to school together, the 5 of us are getting spring break together (my wife doesn't work for the school district. She had to take off in order to spend it with us). It's the first time I've gotten a spring break since I was a student myself. We were planning to do some tubing down the Guadalupe and Comal Rivers in New Braunfels, but thanks to a cold snap, we're just going to be doing some sight-seeing for now. Of course that involves a little bit of driving and right now that means the 5 of us are spending a lot of time in a beat-up, 4-door Saturn SL1. But, considering the fact that I was spending so much time away from my family a year ago, being packed in a little car ain't all that bad.
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Time Slips Away
Shortly after my last post (August 2007), I turned 39 years old. Nobody told me what to expect by that age. Of course, getting older affects everyone differently. From everything I've heard, nearly everyone dreads turning 40. So, I expected that I would be melancholy before I turned 40. Instead, to my surprise, the doldrums hit me a year early. Now, some 6 months later, I'm finally coming to grips with its implications and what I must do from here.
The biggest part of the melancholy I've felt has been about wasted opportunities, failures, frivolity and whatever shortcomings that have come from the first 39 years of my life on this planet. Youth is the time of dreams and hoping for big things. For any number of reasons, certain dreams go by the wayside, yet life goes on. Many of those dreams or grand ideas give way to good sense and reason. Sometimes those dreams die a slow death. A few live on as a specter that can cast a shadow on any achievement that one can manage - raising the question of "what if?" at every turn. Was the course I chose better than any other course that could or might have been? In the words of the famous poem, The Road Less Traveled, the choice is what "made all the difference." For me, 39 was time to take stock of those choices - including the ones I might wonder about their outcome. "What if I had...?" In the words of the great king and philosopher from scripture, Solomon, "such is folly."
Now, after spending at least 6 months considering these frivolous ideas, I think I'm ready to proceed on with the rest of my life. I'm at peace with the fact and reality that I won't die a rich man. Though I had aspirations of being a successful artist and musician, I will likely never reach a pinnacle of success that I dreamed of as a young man. And that's OK, too. After all, I didn't make the sacrifices that those who have succeeded in their crafts made.
But, as a young man, I did make a choice. I felt, at the age of 20 that I had been called by God to be a minister of the Gospel of Christ. At the time, that appeared to be something like what I was familiar with - a model of a man dutifully preaching in a small, local church assembly week after week, month and year after year until I could do it no more. I made the choice, at that time, to leave the small, mid-western college I was attending to attend a Bible college in my home state of Texas. In pursuing that dream, it led me, my wife - who joined me while this dream was still in its infancy - and our family in a course that we never could have planned or conceived. It led us through those small assemblies, as well as large ones. I chose to cast off those other dreams to pursue the one with no recourse or no sort of back-up plan. It was either all or nothing.
In the time since, my family I have experienced a full spectrum of emotions, triumphs and hardships, successes and brutal failures that we likely would have not faced had I chosen another way. To my delight, I have been able to experience the joy of experiencing some of the dreams I had as a young man peek into the other world that I chose. I've been blessed to play music on foreign soil, write and publish (well, I'm still working on that part) my own songs and experience what I think church and Gospel ministry was intended to be. Of course nearly all of this didn't look anything like I imagined it as a younger man. I suppose it takes an older man to reconcile the two and make the most from it. I also know that at this point in my life, if I choose not to stay this course I have chosen, all that I have done to this point of my life was for nothing. That is why, at this point of my life, it's best to stay the course. But now, to do so with the renewed vigor that only an older man can, pursuing a dream that a young man might have.
The biggest part of the melancholy I've felt has been about wasted opportunities, failures, frivolity and whatever shortcomings that have come from the first 39 years of my life on this planet. Youth is the time of dreams and hoping for big things. For any number of reasons, certain dreams go by the wayside, yet life goes on. Many of those dreams or grand ideas give way to good sense and reason. Sometimes those dreams die a slow death. A few live on as a specter that can cast a shadow on any achievement that one can manage - raising the question of "what if?" at every turn. Was the course I chose better than any other course that could or might have been? In the words of the famous poem, The Road Less Traveled, the choice is what "made all the difference." For me, 39 was time to take stock of those choices - including the ones I might wonder about their outcome. "What if I had...?" In the words of the great king and philosopher from scripture, Solomon, "such is folly."
Now, after spending at least 6 months considering these frivolous ideas, I think I'm ready to proceed on with the rest of my life. I'm at peace with the fact and reality that I won't die a rich man. Though I had aspirations of being a successful artist and musician, I will likely never reach a pinnacle of success that I dreamed of as a young man. And that's OK, too. After all, I didn't make the sacrifices that those who have succeeded in their crafts made.
But, as a young man, I did make a choice. I felt, at the age of 20 that I had been called by God to be a minister of the Gospel of Christ. At the time, that appeared to be something like what I was familiar with - a model of a man dutifully preaching in a small, local church assembly week after week, month and year after year until I could do it no more. I made the choice, at that time, to leave the small, mid-western college I was attending to attend a Bible college in my home state of Texas. In pursuing that dream, it led me, my wife - who joined me while this dream was still in its infancy - and our family in a course that we never could have planned or conceived. It led us through those small assemblies, as well as large ones. I chose to cast off those other dreams to pursue the one with no recourse or no sort of back-up plan. It was either all or nothing.
In the time since, my family I have experienced a full spectrum of emotions, triumphs and hardships, successes and brutal failures that we likely would have not faced had I chosen another way. To my delight, I have been able to experience the joy of experiencing some of the dreams I had as a young man peek into the other world that I chose. I've been blessed to play music on foreign soil, write and publish (well, I'm still working on that part) my own songs and experience what I think church and Gospel ministry was intended to be. Of course nearly all of this didn't look anything like I imagined it as a younger man. I suppose it takes an older man to reconcile the two and make the most from it. I also know that at this point in my life, if I choose not to stay this course I have chosen, all that I have done to this point of my life was for nothing. That is why, at this point of my life, it's best to stay the course. But now, to do so with the renewed vigor that only an older man can, pursuing a dream that a young man might have.
Friday, August 03, 2007
Been A While
To say it's been a while since I've been here is an understatement. It's been 7 months to be exact, and let me say a lot can happen in that amount of time. Not to mention all the changes that could take place on a site like this, a lot of stuff can go on. A person can also get into a lot of trouble in that amount of time, too. I won't go into all my personal woes, but now, after living through the past 7 months, it's nice to be on this side of what's happened and being alive to tell the tale. I hope to get back into blogging again for no other reason but the fact that it's like therapy to this tortured soul. Who cares if anyone reads what I have to say! It's just good to get everything together within this skull of mine and give it enough of a sense of order to be in a forum like this. Maybe something good and worthwhile can come from it. I guess I'll see for myself...
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